So, I’m totally an over-everything. Over-eater=check. Over-spender=check. Over-reactor=double check. I’m trying to come to terms with this.
I’ve realized lately that I cannot do things half-way. All or nothing seems to be my motto. And, yes, I realize that I am completely setting myself up for failure, because who can accomplish everything, every time? With hair & makeup done and 4 kids? (Okay, so maybe the hair & makeup thing doesn’t happen every day…)
Make sure the kids are clean and well-dressed. Make sure they have an appropriate number of extra-curricular activities. Make sure they are properly socialized. Make sure I am properly socialized. Spend enough time each day cleaning (truthfully, just make sure my house appears clean) and is also creatively decorated and unusual, while not too bizarre or out there. Make sure my kids have homemade (again creative and unusual) birthday cakes, class treats, teacher gifts, etc. Don’t forget the same handmade gifts for friends/acquaintances/neighbors/people I once nodded to who are sick/getting married/having a baby/dead. Find time each day to read something educational, so I don’t sound like a SAHM who can’t use words longer than two syllables. Find time each day to read something light and fluffy, so I can forget that I am a SAHM who rarely does use words longer than two syllables. Come up with something different each day for dinner that appeals to people ranging in ages (and culinary tastes) from 1 to 34. And doesn’t cost too much. And is healthy. And trying to figure out how I can possibly be the ten people I feel like I am, when I can’t identify with a single one of them. Am I the caring mom? The funny friend? The sexy wife? None of the above?
What does all this rambling mean? It means that, once again, I have failed miserably at something. I have not accomplished all this. Not even half. Going back to the all-or-nothing that I mentioned earlier, it appears I am in the nothing side of things. Yay for me.